Not-Exactly-Chopped-Liver Fiction™
a could-be-worse division of None-Too-Shabby Enterpises, Ink
PRESENTS :
The History of Gin
or
A Fox's Tail©
Is Life Existential? You Decide.
by ' Colorado ' Gumi
...I n s p i r e d By T r u e E v e n t s...
Chapter 16
1st Annual Halloween Special
Ginny Babysits Rosemary's Baby
or
A Fox's Tail©
Is Life Existential? You Decide.
by ' Colorado ' Gumi
...I n s p i r e d By T r u e E v e n t s...
Chapter 16
1st Annual Halloween Special
Ginny Babysits Rosemary's Baby
Ginger was not big on babysitting -- In fact there's no evidence she ever did it before. After all, when one is the daughter of a corporate cabal's key cog, not to mention inventor of Doom, one doesn't crave babysitting money (except for maybe a Rockefeller).
Rosemary, a neighbor down the hall in Ginny's Manhattan apartment, knocked on Gin's door just around dinner time. Her butler Jeeves being out for the evening to celebrate that obtuse English holiday called Halloween, Ginny just had made herself a sandwich using 'dolphin free' tuna. Setting aside her meal, Gin answered the door in an outfit she’d worn since morning... the white Fendi Puffy-Sleeve Cotton Dress with scoop neck, tonal topstitching, Empire waist (with vertical seams and fine contrast stitching), 3/4 puffed blouson sleeves with contrast band, side pockets, inverted pleats creating volume in the skirt and a discreet rear zipper. The dress, crafted in Italy, was 98% cotton and 2% elastane with a 100% cupro lining. Gin's shoes were comfy Juicy Couture Dove Satin Ballerinas with Crystals. Made of white satin with grosgrain ribbon trim accented with grosgrain bow and three cute crystals at the toe, the shoe had a 1/4 inch stacked heel, round toe and leather insole (to her delight the leather soles were imprinted with "Smells Like Couture" -- she only wished they came in pink). Needless to say she looked like a million bucks though the outfit only cost about $1,500 -- the remaining $998,500 of added value was all Gin.
And when Ginger opened the door, there Rosemary stood stuck still in the Sixty's. Its not that the gaudy tent dress with a huge floral print and the skimpy JC sandals she always wore were dated, they just plain looked bad... and had since 1965. And the Vidal Sassoon haircut was a hoot, she’d look better bald (or decapitated). Ginger always had to stifle a horse laugh. Heck, Goldie Hawn let the look go, why couldn't Rosemary? At least she could advance a few years to an "Easy Rider" ensemble, which will never go out of style. But when Gin thought of how Rosemary's first husband had kinda sold her out to Beelzebub and his Demons of Darkness and of how she later had settled on something even worse, one of the neurotic borderline-pedophile "Woody Allen" types that infest New York, Ginny's heart always kinda melted for the woman.
Anyways... Once invited in, Rosemary for the first time asked a favor. It seems that she had tickets for what had to be the six-hundred-and-sixty-six-billionth "Fantasticks" performance (Rosemary was always going to, coming from, or talking about "The Fantasticks") and a strange concatenation of circumstances, involving lightning, had incapacitated her babysitter (actually he was dead). As both Seinfeld and Kramer, who lived in the building, were busy (something about waiting for a table at a Chinese restaurant), and Rosemary didn't trust Carly Simon (who reportedly had a gazillion dollars but had lived in a rent-controlled Trump apartment); she asked if Ginger could fill in and watch her baby. Of course Gin knew the Fantasticks part was a fib Rosemary always used when she was attending an important conclave of her Witch's Coven (supposedly she'd fallen into that Lifestyle after Captain Howdy knocked her up). Shivering at the thought of being touched by someone even remotely like Woody Allen, Ginny felt sorry and agreed.
Anywho, given Ginger's attitude that all children are Spawn of Satan, looking after Rosemary's baby -- who if you believe the movie, literally is the issue on Earth of the Lord of the Flies -- didn't seem a problem. Only thing is, the movie was made 40 years ago so this dude isn't exactly a toddler; but still it was only a few hours. Plus it's not like he's Michael Jackson or something.
With effusive relief Rosemary quickly returned home and hurried back with her darling baby. Strangely, one might expect Hell's Progeny to look something like Freddy Kruger, but Rosemary's Baby, who was named Andy but went by "Junior", actually looked like Brad Pitt, who is really creepy; though not as bad a Val Kilmer. After telling Gin that Junior liked a glass of warm milk before bed, Rosemary left... fancifully tripping down the hall like Audrey Hepburn in "Breakfast at Tiffany's" (itself a disturbing horror film from the 60's).
Closing the door -- and thereby sequestering herself with the Soulless Seed of Satan -- Gin led Junior over to the TV and her video tape collection where he selected her newest, and personal favorite, "The Care Bears' Big Wish Movie", to watch. Although Rosemary's baby was a perfect angel during the movie, like all young boys (and especially like all 40-year-old boys) he grew restless once it was through. Gin knew when babysitting it's paramount to establish who's in charge. Adhering to the Joe Pesci School of Conflict Avoidance (as typified by his bar fight in "Goodfellas"), Ginny immediately took Rosemary's baby to the nastiest bar she knew where she quickly provoked and utterly demolished the biggest thug there. As they left the bar, Gin promised Junior that she’d get him a yummy ice cream if he was good and beat him to a pulp if he wasn't. Then since it was Halloween and they were outside anyway, Ginger thought she’d show him how thrilling Manhattan can be on October 31st so they started off for the Village. It was after Rosemary's baby chased a stray dog down the street, caught and eviscerated it, then returned with entails dangling from his hands that Gin decided this child wasn't yet ready for trick-or-treat ...and even the Village wasn't yet ready for this child. She changed her plans. Instead she took him to an illegal cock fight in an obscure alleyway near Columbia University. They both had a splendid time and Gin made loads of dough betting on the long shots.
About the time Ginger was ready to leave, Junior tugged her skirt and said he had to pee-pee. She quickly led him to the nearest Starbuck's where he peed outside against a brick wall, then they stopped at Baskin-Robbins' for ice cream and headed back to the apartment house. Rosemary and Gin had decided Gin would put Junior to sleep in his own bed then wait there for Rosemary's return. So Ginny gave the Unholy Heir of Hell his warm milk and tucked him in. As she sat on the living room sofa in Rosemary's apartment, in essence the Cathedral of Evil on Earth, Gin idly gazed about and noticed signed pictures of Hillary and Bill Clinton hanging on the wall, in separate frames, facing in opposite directions. Rosemary came home shortly and Ginny, refusing all offers of payment, returned to her own apartment, happy to have helped a neighbor in need.
Rosemary, a neighbor down the hall in Ginny's Manhattan apartment, knocked on Gin's door just around dinner time. Her butler Jeeves being out for the evening to celebrate that obtuse English holiday called Halloween, Ginny just had made herself a sandwich using 'dolphin free' tuna. Setting aside her meal, Gin answered the door in an outfit she’d worn since morning... the white Fendi Puffy-Sleeve Cotton Dress with scoop neck, tonal topstitching, Empire waist (with vertical seams and fine contrast stitching), 3/4 puffed blouson sleeves with contrast band, side pockets, inverted pleats creating volume in the skirt and a discreet rear zipper. The dress, crafted in Italy, was 98% cotton and 2% elastane with a 100% cupro lining. Gin's shoes were comfy Juicy Couture Dove Satin Ballerinas with Crystals. Made of white satin with grosgrain ribbon trim accented with grosgrain bow and three cute crystals at the toe, the shoe had a 1/4 inch stacked heel, round toe and leather insole (to her delight the leather soles were imprinted with "Smells Like Couture" -- she only wished they came in pink). Needless to say she looked like a million bucks though the outfit only cost about $1,500 -- the remaining $998,500 of added value was all Gin.
And when Ginger opened the door, there Rosemary stood stuck still in the Sixty's. Its not that the gaudy tent dress with a huge floral print and the skimpy JC sandals she always wore were dated, they just plain looked bad... and had since 1965. And the Vidal Sassoon haircut was a hoot, she’d look better bald (or decapitated). Ginger always had to stifle a horse laugh. Heck, Goldie Hawn let the look go, why couldn't Rosemary? At least she could advance a few years to an "Easy Rider" ensemble, which will never go out of style. But when Gin thought of how Rosemary's first husband had kinda sold her out to Beelzebub and his Demons of Darkness and of how she later had settled on something even worse, one of the neurotic borderline-pedophile "Woody Allen" types that infest New York, Ginny's heart always kinda melted for the woman.
Anyways... Once invited in, Rosemary for the first time asked a favor. It seems that she had tickets for what had to be the six-hundred-and-sixty-six-billionth "Fantasticks" performance (Rosemary was always going to, coming from, or talking about "The Fantasticks") and a strange concatenation of circumstances, involving lightning, had incapacitated her babysitter (actually he was dead). As both Seinfeld and Kramer, who lived in the building, were busy (something about waiting for a table at a Chinese restaurant), and Rosemary didn't trust Carly Simon (who reportedly had a gazillion dollars but had lived in a rent-controlled Trump apartment); she asked if Ginger could fill in and watch her baby. Of course Gin knew the Fantasticks part was a fib Rosemary always used when she was attending an important conclave of her Witch's Coven (supposedly she'd fallen into that Lifestyle after Captain Howdy knocked her up). Shivering at the thought of being touched by someone even remotely like Woody Allen, Ginny felt sorry and agreed.
Anywho, given Ginger's attitude that all children are Spawn of Satan, looking after Rosemary's baby -- who if you believe the movie, literally is the issue on Earth of the Lord of the Flies -- didn't seem a problem. Only thing is, the movie was made 40 years ago so this dude isn't exactly a toddler; but still it was only a few hours. Plus it's not like he's Michael Jackson or something.
With effusive relief Rosemary quickly returned home and hurried back with her darling baby. Strangely, one might expect Hell's Progeny to look something like Freddy Kruger, but Rosemary's Baby, who was named Andy but went by "Junior", actually looked like Brad Pitt, who is really creepy; though not as bad a Val Kilmer. After telling Gin that Junior liked a glass of warm milk before bed, Rosemary left... fancifully tripping down the hall like Audrey Hepburn in "Breakfast at Tiffany's" (itself a disturbing horror film from the 60's).
Closing the door -- and thereby sequestering herself with the Soulless Seed of Satan -- Gin led Junior over to the TV and her video tape collection where he selected her newest, and personal favorite, "The Care Bears' Big Wish Movie", to watch. Although Rosemary's baby was a perfect angel during the movie, like all young boys (and especially like all 40-year-old boys) he grew restless once it was through. Gin knew when babysitting it's paramount to establish who's in charge. Adhering to the Joe Pesci School of Conflict Avoidance (as typified by his bar fight in "Goodfellas"), Ginny immediately took Rosemary's baby to the nastiest bar she knew where she quickly provoked and utterly demolished the biggest thug there. As they left the bar, Gin promised Junior that she’d get him a yummy ice cream if he was good and beat him to a pulp if he wasn't. Then since it was Halloween and they were outside anyway, Ginger thought she’d show him how thrilling Manhattan can be on October 31st so they started off for the Village. It was after Rosemary's baby chased a stray dog down the street, caught and eviscerated it, then returned with entails dangling from his hands that Gin decided this child wasn't yet ready for trick-or-treat ...and even the Village wasn't yet ready for this child. She changed her plans. Instead she took him to an illegal cock fight in an obscure alleyway near Columbia University. They both had a splendid time and Gin made loads of dough betting on the long shots.
About the time Ginger was ready to leave, Junior tugged her skirt and said he had to pee-pee. She quickly led him to the nearest Starbuck's where he peed outside against a brick wall, then they stopped at Baskin-Robbins' for ice cream and headed back to the apartment house. Rosemary and Gin had decided Gin would put Junior to sleep in his own bed then wait there for Rosemary's return. So Ginny gave the Unholy Heir of Hell his warm milk and tucked him in. As she sat on the living room sofa in Rosemary's apartment, in essence the Cathedral of Evil on Earth, Gin idly gazed about and noticed signed pictures of Hillary and Bill Clinton hanging on the wall, in separate frames, facing in opposite directions. Rosemary came home shortly and Ginny, refusing all offers of payment, returned to her own apartment, happy to have helped a neighbor in need.
To Be Continued
