The History of Gin
or
A Fox's Tail
Is Life Existential? You Decide.
by ' Colorado ' Gumi
...I n s p i r e d By T r u e E v e n t s...
Chapter 13
Close Encounters of the Fourth, Fifth and Sixth Kind
or
Eine Kleine Nachterzählung
First Movement - Sonata Allegro
Analyzed logically -- from a Super-Intelligent Space Alien's perspective -- the most likely place on Earth to meet such an entity would be, of course, at a Starbuck's. I mean... First... No-Brainer... the word "Star" IS in the name. Plus, Starbuck's restrooms house Trans-Dimensional Portals -- as Ginny discovered to great delight and ongoing pleasure. These "Potty Portals", though little known by Earthlings, are widely advertised throughout the Galaxy by Starbuck's parent company, the Pan-Temporal galactic conglomerate "Berkshire-Hathaway" (the same timeless corporation that financed the Egyptian Pyramids, the Roman Empire and Richard Burton's bar tab), and are wildly popular with trendy critters throughout the Universes.
In fact the portals make up for Starbuck's decidedly mediocre coffee. The ambivalence across Creation concerning Starbuck's actual coffee is reflected by a new slogan the company is testing in the Milkyway Galaxy, "Come for Our Potty, Stay for Our Coffee." The truth be told, Starbuck's coffee IS considered delicious on one planet... BeeBow... which orbits Sirius. But the inhabitants of that world are noted for their cast iron stomachs -- Literally. Stomachs made of cast iron. -- so that could have some bearing on the brew's popularity there. Anyways, the point none can refute is that Starbuck's ARE jam-packed with a huge assortment of strange, unearthly beings who spend inordinate amounts of time in the restrooms. It was not just a matter of fate, but a statistical certainty, that Ginny would wind up having sexual relations with at least one of them.
Now... There are two categories of Space Aliens that frequent Earth: The ones that use the wonders of highly evolved societies to get kinky jollies from doing weird stuff to humans. And the ones that work on Wall Street. It's a toss-up which variety is more aggravating. Suffice to say that after the unfortunate convergence already described herein, the first type of Super-Intelligent Aliens go out of their way to avoid Ginny. In fact a whole race of such beings transcended themselves to an entirely different plane of existence after scientists calculated that their planetary system one day would pass within 500 light years of Earth and Gin. As all the other Aliens (particularly the ones traveling with children) find Earth too vulgar to visit, that leaves some random joe from the second group as the only likely candidate for Ginny's particular close encounter.
Pekoe-Auf_25, otherwise known as Murry, was big in Hedges on Wall Street. Since the planting and pruning of hedges is demanding work with much washing of hands and scrubbing of nails, Pekoe-Auf_25 always was eager to kick back and cruise for Earth chicks at his favorite Starbuck's. He considered Earth girls "easy"... especially compared to his homeworld where one must study algebra for decades AND "ace" a killer math test just for a date. Murry had discovered early in his Earthly sojourn that Starbuck's was a magnet for foxy female Arithmetic groupies and he always managed to lasso a frisky filly with his highly-developed Mathematical prowess.
In that vein, there is no pat rule for pre-determining what will turn a woman "on." For a female in the fifth dimension the means is an actual switch located beside the auxiliary power outlet on her shoulder. But for other entities, Earth women included, the process is more esoteric and fraught with uncertainty. Take Ginger Mullins for instance. I assure you ...and you can trust me on this... that Gin maintains consummate scruples in determining "worthiness" of prospective partners and insists upon a minimum of tentacles, slime and scales. She also has other criteria concerning grooming, decorum and intellect that most males, high on chutzpah and testosterone, would find unfathomable.
Second Movement - Romanza: Andante
For Gin it was a day like any other at Starbuck's (meaning it was totally bizarre). She was at a high table perched on a stool smiling devilishly behind her laptop screen while tormenting some guy as he roguishly strove to peek up her skirt from across the room. "Innocently" crossing and uncrossing her hot-waxed legs, she marveled as rising color and bulging jeans betrayed his thoughts. When a woman (apparently a significant other) suddenly appeared, surmised the situation and gave the dude hell, Gin choked with stifled laughter until coffee ran from her nose into the keyboard. Still leaking coffee, she beat a giggling retreat to the restroom.
Gin had learned from hard experience to approach Starbuck's toilets with extreme caution. Unaware that across the Galaxy the Trans-Dimensional Portal angle was a popular enhancement to the powder room experience, she saw entering a Starbuck's restroom as a potential ordeal of survival that might include dodging mastodons and arrows. Therefore Murry, who was inside the unisex toilet at the time, was surprised to look up from the sink and see Gin open the door a crack, peep with a single blinking brown eye, then rush in swinging a mop with deadly force. Satisfied that the restroom was, this time, just a restroom, Gin apologized for barging in; she didn't realize it was occupied. She said someone had mentioned there was a spider behind the trashcan to explain her determinedly aggressive entry. Murry smiled expansively, showing the standard human issue of 32 teeth in even rows, and excused himself. Alone, Gin completed the usual female potty ritual, dabbed the coffee stains from her nose and upper lip and returned to her table to toy with the libido of some other hapless "dink."
As he waited to order yet another container of the bilious vitriol Starbuck's spews, Murry, a knowing judge of women, reflected on the one he had just met. She reminded him of the Space Marines they trained on the planet Granite... soft eyes, gentle curves, luxuriant tresses, hard as basalt and deadly as a leaky space suit; just like his dear mother. Plus, in their fleeting encounter he had taken her measure and knew her secret fetish for Mathematics -- perhaps better than she did. Purposefully taking his coffee and sitting right behind her, Murry started to woo Ginny in his practiced manner.
As she sat there it was several moments before Ginny was consciously aware of her burgeoning arousal. For somewhere behind she heard a whispered recital of the times table; quickly progressing from four 4's is 16 to five 4's is 20 and beyond. Multiplication always was her favorite arithmetic operation and this almost subliminal chant had the blood steaming in her cheeks, and elsewhere. Looking behind she discovered the romantic mathematic calculations were coming from the Wall Street type she nearly clobbered in the WC. It was like the first time she saw the movie "Rainman" and experienced that explosive spontaneous orgasm when Raymond instantly calculated the number of matches spilled on the floor. Best part was... she instantly appraised that aside from an inexplicable hint of dirt beneath his nails, this bucko definitely was "worthy." By the time Murry had completed the multiplication table and started enumerating the Fibonacci Sequence Gin was seated next to him on a nearby couch with her tongue in his ear. When he started solving algebraic word problems for the value of "X", she erupted. Heading for the seclusion of the restroom as demurely as possible while running with him in tow, she bolted the door and locked her lips on his. As her tongue dancing a waltz in his mouth, she felt his confident fingers gliding along her back, gently kneading the kinks from her muscles and draining the tension from her body.
This was a Close Encounter of the Fourth Kind.
Third Movement - Menuetto: Allegro
As is the way of the Universe, one thing led to an avalanche of others and Ginny soon found herself immersed with Murry amidst islands of expensive bath foam in her apartment's Mediterranean bathtub (so-called because it is only slightly smaller than the actual Sea). As he rubbed her back while citing the mathematic principles of modern plumbing (emphasizing Bernoulli's Equation), Gin reflected on the coincidence of this wonderfully arithmetical man stumbling over her deep rooted, but vaguely perceived, fetish for mathematics and throwing the switch on the sexually intense predilection for numbers and formulae that only recently had bubbled to the surface of her own awareness. She didn't ponder the concatenation of circumstances long though because every time she heard the word "Bernoulli" her insides turned all gooey and she again had to kiss those hot cupid-bow lips and squeeze her firmly muscled arms round his naked body.
With "Bolero" playing in the background (Mozart isn't great fucking music), Ginny first surrendered to him on the "northern shore" of her bathtub (somewheres near where Greece would be). The experience was like a Minuet -- slow, ceremonious, and graceful -- that lasted a really, really long time. She wrapped her arms and legs about him as he literally danced within her.
Ginny rode an undulating tide for an age until engulfed by a tsunami of sensation that left her spent, tingling and, momentarily, blind. When she returned to her body Gin's sole coherent thought was "Do that more."
And he did.
This was a Close Encounter of the Fifth Kind.
Fourth Movement - Rondo: Allegro
After the third such interlude that evening, Murry somehow let slip that he was a Super-Intelligent Space Alien and Gin's Close Encounter of the Sixth Kind soon followed.
On learning his name really was Pekoe-Auf_25 (P-Auf for short) and that he wasn't human at all but just played one on Earth, Ginger quickly decided she didn't care. When, together, they removed the many layers of P-Auf's disguise -- including human-form isolation casing, pressure-equalizing encounter suit, exoskeleton padding, shrinkwrap and, strangely, a Victoria's Secrets pink silk panty and bra set (which she owned herself) -- Gin saw that, aside from a couple extraneous parts, he had a masculine beauty that was nearly human... kinda like that Elf guy in "The Lord of the Rings" who got the womenfolk so wet in the panties.
Once certain he was naked, the question in her mind was NOT whether what she intended to do with a bare-assed, self-confessed Space Alien was appropriate but rather which were the naughty bits. She ultimately resolved the question by trying them all. Gin started by first mounting, and thoroughly enjoying herself upon, a stout projection at P-Auf's hip. She later was chagrined to learn that this was not a body part at all but his sub-space radio, which he forgot to remove in the excitement. He never dared admit that the thing was on and transmitting while she was... occupied... by it. The resulting broadcast garnered the largest audience ever known in the Galaxy, if not in the Universe. While some of the beings who caught the broadcast didn't understand exactly what Ginny was doing, everyone (and, indeed, everything) enthusiastically applauded the vigor with which it was done. In this way, one naughty bit quickly followed the other through the night until all were minutely examined and thoroughly tested. The pair then descended into a profound slumber in Gin's bed amid her treasured collection of Care Bears. By morning she had unconsciously wrested possession of all the pillows and covers from the comparatively defenseless P-Auf.
These events were repeated many, many times over the following weeks.
For his part, P-Auf was completely smitten with Ginny, believing she was "The One." However he suspected his mother might not approve. If the two ever should meet he doubted either could seriously harm the other but the collateral damage from such a clash, including numerous dead bystanders, would be unacceptable. For this reason, combined with a real fear that Gin might actually fuck him to death, he very reluctantly cooled their relationship and soon left Earth forever.
Ginger genuinely liked P-Auf. But while appreciating (and making copious use of) his many talents, she had other priorities... not the least of which was an odd mix of jurisprudence and shopping. It just so happened that the very week P-Auf made his sad assessment and reluctantly retired to the background, Gin had a killer Contracts test plus Manolo came out with a spectacular new collection so she didn't really notice until he was gone.
Analyzed logically -- from a Super-Intelligent Space Alien's perspective -- the most likely place on Earth to meet such an entity would be, of course, at a Starbuck's. I mean... First... No-Brainer... the word "Star" IS in the name. Plus, Starbuck's restrooms house Trans-Dimensional Portals -- as Ginny discovered to great delight and ongoing pleasure. These "Potty Portals", though little known by Earthlings, are widely advertised throughout the Galaxy by Starbuck's parent company, the Pan-Temporal galactic conglomerate "Berkshire-Hathaway" (the same timeless corporation that financed the Egyptian Pyramids, the Roman Empire and Richard Burton's bar tab), and are wildly popular with trendy critters throughout the Universes.
In fact the portals make up for Starbuck's decidedly mediocre coffee. The ambivalence across Creation concerning Starbuck's actual coffee is reflected by a new slogan the company is testing in the Milkyway Galaxy, "Come for Our Potty, Stay for Our Coffee." The truth be told, Starbuck's coffee IS considered delicious on one planet... BeeBow... which orbits Sirius. But the inhabitants of that world are noted for their cast iron stomachs -- Literally. Stomachs made of cast iron. -- so that could have some bearing on the brew's popularity there. Anyways, the point none can refute is that Starbuck's ARE jam-packed with a huge assortment of strange, unearthly beings who spend inordinate amounts of time in the restrooms. It was not just a matter of fate, but a statistical certainty, that Ginny would wind up having sexual relations with at least one of them.
Now... There are two categories of Space Aliens that frequent Earth: The ones that use the wonders of highly evolved societies to get kinky jollies from doing weird stuff to humans. And the ones that work on Wall Street. It's a toss-up which variety is more aggravating. Suffice to say that after the unfortunate convergence already described herein, the first type of Super-Intelligent Aliens go out of their way to avoid Ginny. In fact a whole race of such beings transcended themselves to an entirely different plane of existence after scientists calculated that their planetary system one day would pass within 500 light years of Earth and Gin. As all the other Aliens (particularly the ones traveling with children) find Earth too vulgar to visit, that leaves some random joe from the second group as the only likely candidate for Ginny's particular close encounter.
Pekoe-Auf_25, otherwise known as Murry, was big in Hedges on Wall Street. Since the planting and pruning of hedges is demanding work with much washing of hands and scrubbing of nails, Pekoe-Auf_25 always was eager to kick back and cruise for Earth chicks at his favorite Starbuck's. He considered Earth girls "easy"... especially compared to his homeworld where one must study algebra for decades AND "ace" a killer math test just for a date. Murry had discovered early in his Earthly sojourn that Starbuck's was a magnet for foxy female Arithmetic groupies and he always managed to lasso a frisky filly with his highly-developed Mathematical prowess.
In that vein, there is no pat rule for pre-determining what will turn a woman "on." For a female in the fifth dimension the means is an actual switch located beside the auxiliary power outlet on her shoulder. But for other entities, Earth women included, the process is more esoteric and fraught with uncertainty. Take Ginger Mullins for instance. I assure you ...and you can trust me on this... that Gin maintains consummate scruples in determining "worthiness" of prospective partners and insists upon a minimum of tentacles, slime and scales. She also has other criteria concerning grooming, decorum and intellect that most males, high on chutzpah and testosterone, would find unfathomable.
Second Movement - Romanza: Andante
For Gin it was a day like any other at Starbuck's (meaning it was totally bizarre). She was at a high table perched on a stool smiling devilishly behind her laptop screen while tormenting some guy as he roguishly strove to peek up her skirt from across the room. "Innocently" crossing and uncrossing her hot-waxed legs, she marveled as rising color and bulging jeans betrayed his thoughts. When a woman (apparently a significant other) suddenly appeared, surmised the situation and gave the dude hell, Gin choked with stifled laughter until coffee ran from her nose into the keyboard. Still leaking coffee, she beat a giggling retreat to the restroom.
Gin had learned from hard experience to approach Starbuck's toilets with extreme caution. Unaware that across the Galaxy the Trans-Dimensional Portal angle was a popular enhancement to the powder room experience, she saw entering a Starbuck's restroom as a potential ordeal of survival that might include dodging mastodons and arrows. Therefore Murry, who was inside the unisex toilet at the time, was surprised to look up from the sink and see Gin open the door a crack, peep with a single blinking brown eye, then rush in swinging a mop with deadly force. Satisfied that the restroom was, this time, just a restroom, Gin apologized for barging in; she didn't realize it was occupied. She said someone had mentioned there was a spider behind the trashcan to explain her determinedly aggressive entry. Murry smiled expansively, showing the standard human issue of 32 teeth in even rows, and excused himself. Alone, Gin completed the usual female potty ritual, dabbed the coffee stains from her nose and upper lip and returned to her table to toy with the libido of some other hapless "dink."
As he waited to order yet another container of the bilious vitriol Starbuck's spews, Murry, a knowing judge of women, reflected on the one he had just met. She reminded him of the Space Marines they trained on the planet Granite... soft eyes, gentle curves, luxuriant tresses, hard as basalt and deadly as a leaky space suit; just like his dear mother. Plus, in their fleeting encounter he had taken her measure and knew her secret fetish for Mathematics -- perhaps better than she did. Purposefully taking his coffee and sitting right behind her, Murry started to woo Ginny in his practiced manner.
As she sat there it was several moments before Ginny was consciously aware of her burgeoning arousal. For somewhere behind she heard a whispered recital of the times table; quickly progressing from four 4's is 16 to five 4's is 20 and beyond. Multiplication always was her favorite arithmetic operation and this almost subliminal chant had the blood steaming in her cheeks, and elsewhere. Looking behind she discovered the romantic mathematic calculations were coming from the Wall Street type she nearly clobbered in the WC. It was like the first time she saw the movie "Rainman" and experienced that explosive spontaneous orgasm when Raymond instantly calculated the number of matches spilled on the floor. Best part was... she instantly appraised that aside from an inexplicable hint of dirt beneath his nails, this bucko definitely was "worthy." By the time Murry had completed the multiplication table and started enumerating the Fibonacci Sequence Gin was seated next to him on a nearby couch with her tongue in his ear. When he started solving algebraic word problems for the value of "X", she erupted. Heading for the seclusion of the restroom as demurely as possible while running with him in tow, she bolted the door and locked her lips on his. As her tongue dancing a waltz in his mouth, she felt his confident fingers gliding along her back, gently kneading the kinks from her muscles and draining the tension from her body.
This was a Close Encounter of the Fourth Kind.
Third Movement - Menuetto: Allegro
As is the way of the Universe, one thing led to an avalanche of others and Ginny soon found herself immersed with Murry amidst islands of expensive bath foam in her apartment's Mediterranean bathtub (so-called because it is only slightly smaller than the actual Sea). As he rubbed her back while citing the mathematic principles of modern plumbing (emphasizing Bernoulli's Equation), Gin reflected on the coincidence of this wonderfully arithmetical man stumbling over her deep rooted, but vaguely perceived, fetish for mathematics and throwing the switch on the sexually intense predilection for numbers and formulae that only recently had bubbled to the surface of her own awareness. She didn't ponder the concatenation of circumstances long though because every time she heard the word "Bernoulli" her insides turned all gooey and she again had to kiss those hot cupid-bow lips and squeeze her firmly muscled arms round his naked body.
With "Bolero" playing in the background (Mozart isn't great fucking music), Ginny first surrendered to him on the "northern shore" of her bathtub (somewheres near where Greece would be). The experience was like a Minuet -- slow, ceremonious, and graceful -- that lasted a really, really long time. She wrapped her arms and legs about him as he literally danced within her.
Ginny rode an undulating tide for an age until engulfed by a tsunami of sensation that left her spent, tingling and, momentarily, blind. When she returned to her body Gin's sole coherent thought was "Do that more."
And he did.
This was a Close Encounter of the Fifth Kind.
Fourth Movement - Rondo: Allegro
After the third such interlude that evening, Murry somehow let slip that he was a Super-Intelligent Space Alien and Gin's Close Encounter of the Sixth Kind soon followed.
On learning his name really was Pekoe-Auf_25 (P-Auf for short) and that he wasn't human at all but just played one on Earth, Ginger quickly decided she didn't care. When, together, they removed the many layers of P-Auf's disguise -- including human-form isolation casing, pressure-equalizing encounter suit, exoskeleton padding, shrinkwrap and, strangely, a Victoria's Secrets pink silk panty and bra set (which she owned herself) -- Gin saw that, aside from a couple extraneous parts, he had a masculine beauty that was nearly human... kinda like that Elf guy in "The Lord of the Rings" who got the womenfolk so wet in the panties.
Once certain he was naked, the question in her mind was NOT whether what she intended to do with a bare-assed, self-confessed Space Alien was appropriate but rather which were the naughty bits. She ultimately resolved the question by trying them all. Gin started by first mounting, and thoroughly enjoying herself upon, a stout projection at P-Auf's hip. She later was chagrined to learn that this was not a body part at all but his sub-space radio, which he forgot to remove in the excitement. He never dared admit that the thing was on and transmitting while she was... occupied... by it. The resulting broadcast garnered the largest audience ever known in the Galaxy, if not in the Universe. While some of the beings who caught the broadcast didn't understand exactly what Ginny was doing, everyone (and, indeed, everything) enthusiastically applauded the vigor with which it was done. In this way, one naughty bit quickly followed the other through the night until all were minutely examined and thoroughly tested. The pair then descended into a profound slumber in Gin's bed amid her treasured collection of Care Bears. By morning she had unconsciously wrested possession of all the pillows and covers from the comparatively defenseless P-Auf.
These events were repeated many, many times over the following weeks.
For his part, P-Auf was completely smitten with Ginny, believing she was "The One." However he suspected his mother might not approve. If the two ever should meet he doubted either could seriously harm the other but the collateral damage from such a clash, including numerous dead bystanders, would be unacceptable. For this reason, combined with a real fear that Gin might actually fuck him to death, he very reluctantly cooled their relationship and soon left Earth forever.
Ginger genuinely liked P-Auf. But while appreciating (and making copious use of) his many talents, she had other priorities... not the least of which was an odd mix of jurisprudence and shopping. It just so happened that the very week P-Auf made his sad assessment and reluctantly retired to the background, Gin had a killer Contracts test plus Manolo came out with a spectacular new collection so she didn't really notice until he was gone.
To Be Continued
